Diary of a Metal Mommy

And I don’t mean Elvis. I’m talking about King Kong! I’m so excited! This is Peter Jackson’s new project. ( For any of you who possibly don’t know who Peter Jackson is, he’s the wonderful man who brought us all of the Lord of the Rings movies.) I’ve read that the original King Kong was what first interested him in film making, hence why he chose this movie to re-make. I remember actually seeing the original on a reel-to-reel…my dad was working in the audio visual department at the University of Iowa and brought it home as a treat one night. This was back in the day before video, you know. I can still smell that screen…and remember how if the movie got stuck, it would get a burn mark on it? That always scared me, like someone’s face was turning into a monster or something….ok, now that you all know I need therapy…:-) Even though the experience was quite exciting, the movie itself has never been a big deal to me. Nor was the re-make that was done in 1976. But hey, this is Peter Jackson, and I have to say that the trailer looks pretty good!

Well, it looks like me and everyone else thinks that ol’ Tommy has gone over the deep end. Hilarious!! Well, since Scientologists seem to believe that we are descendants of aliens, maybe filming War of the Worlds just sent him over the edge.

You know, Tom Cruise has really started to bug me lately with his Katie-gushing. If you have read any of my past blog entries, you know this. I mean, I don’t want to begrudge anyone their happiness, but come on. He’s just embarrassing to watch. And now just to add to the Annoyance Factor, he has told Matt Lauer of the Today Show that he was being ‘glib‘. Glib! Besides the fact that nobody really uses that word in a normal conversation, for whatever reason, I just hate the word itself. Like jowl. And moist. And Espadrille. It makes no sense, but there are just words that bug me for no apparent reason. I know what you are thinking–how very glib.

My friend Stephanie recently went shopping for some kitchen and bathroom fixtures, and came back with a hilarious story about this crazy toilet that washes and dries your ass for you! I’ve known about bidets, but I had no idea that they were so…well, 21st Century! Stephanie said that this one she saw actually had a motion sensor that raised the seat as you approached it! After you ‘go’, this little arm wiggles back and forth spraying you with warm water (whatever you do, keep those legs together!) and then it dries you off! She said the thing cost around 5K. Wow. Well, I guess it could be a bargain, when you think of what you would save on toilet paper! Not to be too gross here, but I just have to wonder…is that gentle spray of water really enough to remove all debris?! I was so curious about such an apparatus, that I Googled and found a site called American Bidet. Check it out! This model even has a douche attachment you can buy. For us “liberated women”, it apparently is a “pleasure to use any time”. I guess they’ve missed the news that douching can actually cause infection, which is not a pleasure in my book. But hey, for the person who has everything, this would be quite a gift. You really know you are somebody when you don’t even have to wipe your own ass.

I love this! I’ll bet, in just the right light, you could probably see a big red eye hovering over the Whitehouse….