Diary of a Metal Mommy

Is there anything MORE embarrassing than showing up to a party before anyone else? Yes. To have the host open the door, take one look at you and exclaim, “You’re so EARLY!” Alas, this was indeed Act One, Scene One of the rock and roll party I mentioned in my previous blog entry. Luckily, I think Cory and I pulled it off all right–he brazenly drank the beers that we brought Zack for his house-warming/having a party gift, (so VERY rock and roll!) and I helped set up the food. I kept pretty busy with that, although making sure to avoid the BBQ sauce that needed to be poured into the chafing dish for the meatballs–didn’t want to spill or splash on my new killer Top I found on my shopping excursion!! (Success!) On a side note–you gotta love a rock and roll guy with a chafing dish.

So despite being there about an hour and a half before anyone else made an appearance, the party was fun–as fun as a party can be when you don’t really know anyone but the host. At least his friends were all very nice, and Zack does have a KILLER pad to hang out in. Plus my husband kept saying how hot I looked, so I’d say the night was still a success.

Here’s another Embarrassing Moment. I decided it would be hilarious to list that heart-shaped potato chip on ebay. Cory joked around about it, and I thought, hey…as I mentioned before, it ain’t the Virgin Mary or the King of Rock and Roll, but someone may just be kooky enough to pay money for it. I made the price high, at $50, not expecting to really sell it, of course, but just as a hoot. Well, I’m feeling pretty clever, until Cory decides to check and finds that there are no less than FOUR heart- shaped potato chips up for auction on ebay!!!!!! Who knew?! So what started out as me being a Clever Girl has now become me being just another Kook with a heart shaped chip. But of course, mine does look the best, I have to say.

Just my luck. I delve into a bag of Lay’s potato chips, and what do I get? A chip in the shape of a heart. Granted, it’s cute, but why couldn’t it have been in the shape of the Virgin Mary? Or Elvis? Something that could get me some dough on ebay. (Mamma needs new boots!) Or at least one in the shape of George W’s head, so I could get the pleasure of biting his head off.

Can someone please answer me this question…why, oh why is it so impossible to find the perfect article of clothing when you are looking for it?! Oh, okay, not impossible. Let me re-phrase that. Why, oh why is it so impossible to find the perfect article of clothing IN YOUR BUDGET when you are looking for it? I mean heck, I could go into Anthropologie, close my eyes and point and find the most amazing glorious thing, but I’d need to rob a bank first–and that’s not going to happen. (Although, after seeing this jacket, I considered it…!) Cory and I got invited to a rock roll party given by my old beau Zackary Vex (yes to you faithful readers, the one I mentioned earlier) and what the heck am I gonna wear?! I need something that says, young-at-heart but not trying-to-look-too-young. Rock and roll, but not Tawny Kitaen. Classy, but not overly-sophisticated. Understated, yet out there. And yet, something in my budget.

My patient friend Darcie and I are heading out to shop tonight, to see if any such item exists. I am already thinking negatively, because you know how it is…it’s like a man–if you are looking for it, it will elude you! And I tend to get quite obsessed, as Darcie mentioned to me after emailing her about 5 links to different photos of clothing that may or may not work. I’ve narrowed it down to some sort of Top. Jeans are the perfect rock and roll party wear, so that’s a no-brainer. But I’ve got to find just the right Top. Hmmmm…

Well, I’ll have to let you know what I end up in. Knowing me I won’t find a damn thing and will end up grabbing some old thang out of my closet anyway. In the grand scheme of things, when there are many people out there who don’t even have nice clothes or a closet to hang them in, it’s such a dumb thing to rant about. But it’s the way I cope with NOT having to think about those poor people. Retail Therapy!!!

I am a Heavy Metal Momma, but let’s hope it never comes down to this!