Diary of a Metal Mommy

(I see a striking resemblance, don’t you?)

Wow, the weekend is over already. This one flew by! I got up early on Saturday and headed right for the gym before I changed my mind. I have no idea what possessed me, but I decided to check the fitness class schedule when I got there to see if there were any classes I could jump into at that time. Lo and behold, there was a class I could join that didn’t seem too intimidating–it was called ‘Coreboard’. I even had a few minutes to spare, so I hopped on the ol’ Elipse machine to get my heart rate going, just in case it was a ‘warm up before’ class. Wow, that makes me sound like a hard-core exerciser…but really, I was just trying to decide if I really had the guts to potentially make a fool out of myself again in trying a class. Those of you readers who have been with me from the beginning may remember a post where I talked about starting a class and running out of it after about 10 minutes. Once they got past the ‘grapevine’ I was completely lost. ‘Coreboard’, though…this one sounded more like a strengthening class, tightening up the old ‘core’–the center of your bod–not too much movement. (God forbid, in a fitness class!!)

Well…I really was clueless. The class began with those of us who showed up shlepping ‘The Coreboard’ from one room to another. Yes my friends, it turns out the ol’ Coreboard (‘ol apparently being this word of the day!) was indeed an apparatus! And a heavy one at that, I got started on my workout just getting that thing from point A to point B. Now I was really nervous. Not only was it an apparatus, which is normally not a good thing for me, but the damn thing moved. You have to balance on it while you are doing the exercises. Eeeek! But hey, I had gotten that far, I wasn’t about to chicken out. Plus there were only 3 of us, so there was no flying out unnoticed like last time! Long story shorter and a few wobbles later, I actually was getting the hang of it and can honestly say I enjoyed that class! By the end I could actually lift one leg and kick it up in the air to about knee level, which was a feat, let me tell you. (at least for me. I may be a red belt in Tae Kwon Do, but I would never attempt above kick on that thing, like Coreboard Christy, there!) I am even planning on taking the class next Saturday. Yay me. I could tell it was good, too, because I am feeling new muscles today. This is an improvement in my workout routine, since, I have no routine. They say you are supposed to change things up every so often, you get a better workout that way. So, there it is. Now I have the Coreboard class!

After that I took Vivian to a friend’s piano recital. I have to say, that was a sentimental moment. This girl invited a few other friends her age, and it was the sweetest thing to see them all listening so quietly and respectfully, generally interested in their friends’ musical abilities. Believe you me, I have seen kids this age in a group together and they can get quite rowdy, and not always so respectful. I was thinking about the memories that this will make for the pianist, wondering if she even quite took that all in. I think that must be an adult thing.

Today started out with YET ANOTHER puppet show. Ol’ Noah’s gettin’ real old. Today I did a really dumb thing…I took the teacher’s suggestion and let the kids act out the show when I was done, using the props. I told them to be gentle, but alas–the props definitely took a beating. Poor Elvis-I-mean-Noah even needs a new mini-pad-I-mean-make-up remover pad-I-mean beard. All in the desperation of trying to come up with something for the kids to do in the extra time that always comes at the end of the show. I won’t do THAT again! One more next week, and then we’re done for a while. The next unit of learning is the ‘Journey to the Cross”. Char and I decided to skip that one, as it seemed like sort of a morbid story to re-enact with puppets. Kari and I (the *sniff* ol’ Youth Director who has since left and is a friend of mine) laughed about how funny it would be to use Davey and Goliath (remember those guys? They are what started this whole puppet thing–Char and I used them in Vacation Bible School over the summer) to tell that lovely tale. Davey could be hanging up there on the crucifix and Goliath could be saying, “Hey, Davey, whatcha doin’ up there?” in that dopey voice of his. We got a good laugh over that thought, but realized that it probably wouldn’t go over too well with the kids. Nor the parents, for that matter! And No, this is not why Kari left our church–she just saves those inappropriate suggestions for me. Aren’t I lucky?? I sort of have that effect on people…!

THEN this afternoon we painted!!! We’ve needed to paint the living room for years. It still has the same old yellow color it had when we moved in 5 years ago. It’s a nice color, but we were ready for change. Well, we didn’t paint the whole thing yet, but we did start with one wall–dark brown! It looks really nice, I have to say. I haven’t decided what we’ll do with the other 3 walls yet, but definitely a lighter complimentary color. I love the brown, but a bit overwhelming for a whole room! Even one wall gives someone the thought of possibly being in Willy Wonka’s Factory. (but hey, if all four walls means Johnny Depp will come walking in my living room at any moment, get me the paint brush!) Next will be the trim around the windows–probably a light cream color, kind of like it is now. Then I can decide what other color I want in the meantime. Can I just say how nice it is to have a husband that lets me do whatever I want?! Thank goodness we do have the same taste. I always wonder what people do who are complete opposites in that department. Don’t all husbands know that the wives should always have the final say in such matters? Come to think about it, all of my friends husbands that I can think of right now do kind of let the wives do what they want. Tee hee. We know who’s really in control.

Okay, by the time you are done reading this post it will be NEXT weekend already. Whew! Whatever will the next week bring?

A nice Friday, I must say. Not long after Vivian left for school, Sullivan and I headed over to my friend Darcie’s to play. Sullivan and her 4 year old son Elliot have been friends for about, well, 4 years now. Amazing! Darcie’s always got a cuppa on for her friend Suz, it’s a good thing. She’s the one I accosted one day on a walk with Sullivan, thank God she didn’t think me a nut and decide never to call me. (well, she probably does think I’m a nut, which would probably be true, but somehow she still wants to hang out with me…go figure!) Darcie and her mother have taken on a sewing project for me–what angels! In the quest for the perfect duvet cover (oh no! another quest!) I of course ended up with something that is far from perfect. It was in the right price range and matched the room, that’s about it. Oh, and it’s kinda soft. So that’s good. But I think the manufacturers put it in the wrong bag, I do believe the thing is a King size, verses the Queen that we need for our bed. Poor Coreman, somehow the comforter always ends up filling the cover on my side, (smart little duvet cover!) and all he gets is material to cover up with, and flimsy material at that. So Darcie said she would take her sewing machine to it and sew up some seams on each side so that it fits tighter in there. (I won’t make any dirty comments, I promise.) This is so nice, I can NOT sew. I actually had a machine once–once–and vowed I never would again. I am not a person who can measure well and thread a bobbin. It’s just not fun for me. So between playing at Darcie’s and then taking a walk with Sullivan in the unseasonably balmy January afternoon, it was a full day.

Having recently bought a “Judaism for Dummies” book, I know that according to the Jews, tonight is the beginning of the Sabbath. Vivian has been extra fascinated with all things Jewish since my sister recently found some Jewish cousins that we never knew we had. She saw Fiddler on the Roof for the first time not long ago, and was wondering why the mother waved her hands over the candles after she lit them, and then covered her eyes–these things being done before the Sabbath meal. I had no idea, so I relied on the trusty Dummies book. Vivian got the grand idea that we needed to celebrate the Sabbath tonight. I thought I’d be a good half-Jew and try my luck at homemade Challah bread. I actually did make it once, years ago, and I think it turned out well…! I won’t take a photo and post it, like Stephanie, because I would be appalled if she saw it. I mean, they turned out pretty tasty, (the recipe made 3 loaves!) but they sure didn’t come out all perfectly braided and shiny like hers did. I just don’t have much patience with bread-baking, I’m afraid. Plus I didn’t get around to starting the things until like 4:00. But the un-perfect Challah fit the meal, which was ham–which of course is not exactly Jewish. Vivian was all set to light the candles at sundown and do the whole prayer. Of course I’m trying to get the damn bread to rise and figuring out what the heck I’m gonna do for dinner–who has time for candles?! I tell ya, I don’t know how the Jews do it! Now pass me another slice of ham. I’m a good Jewthran.

So Kim and I headed over to Stephanie’s last night, where she was kind enough to invite us over for an amazing dinner of Tortilla Soup and then a meeting of the minds about this podcast thing. Well, true to our form, our minds certainly met, but there was more laughter than there was any work to be done! Oh man. It’s amazing to me how we can get going. I laugh so hard I truly think my head is going to pop.

Kim brought up the reminder of After School Specials. If you are a product of the 70’s, than you certainly know what I’m talking about. It’s funny when you think about it–now experts are trying to draw the children away from the TV, but back in the 70’s, man, it was a serious teaching tool!!! We’d come home from school, grab a bowl of ice cream or something, and plop right down to the Brady Bunch, or some After School Special. I can remember watching them, but I’ll be darned if I can remember what they were about. Kim talked about a short movie she saw in school called “Cipher in the Snow”. I guess this was actually a film that was shown in her grade school. The only movie I remember being shown in school at that age were those ‘coming of age’ movies–where the girls went in one room to watch a movie about our periods and the boys went off into another to watch a movie about…wha?! It’s still a mystery! (if there are any boys out there that actually read this, please comment and tell me just WHAT the heck YOUR movie was about!) Maybe wet dreams?! Ha! Anyway, this ‘Cipher’ movie sounds pretty darn dark and depressing–a story of a kid who was basically a nobody at school, who other kids made fun of, and because of his loneliness he just collapsed in a snow bank one day and died. Huh. Pass the popcorn! Brought to you, by Brigham Young University, school o’ Mormons. ! Of course movies like these are supposed to promote empathy from young kids, but in Kim’s case she said all it did was make kids call other unfortunately dopey kids a ‘cipher’ when they passed them in the hallways. Nice.

Of course it didn’t take us long to run with the dark humor, ourselves. I actually have no recollection of how it got to this lowly point, but before I knew it we were weak with laughter over our new title of the film, “Twat in the Snow”. ! (somehow, though, I don’t think that film will be made by the Mormons) What that had to do with a lonely child, I have no clue. Just our weird sense of humor with a few glasses of wine and one topic spilling into another. (yes, we were talking about twats, but saying that offensive (but oh so funny!) word is as far as I’ll go on that one…you’ll have to tune into our upcoming Podcast to hear more of that…tee hee!

I am paying for the fun today. Puffy-eyed and oh so sleepy! But it was well worth it, let me tell you!

The internet is a strange and wonderful thing. One day you are a suburban mommy, the next you are a Metal Queen. I received a comment on this very blog from a woman telling me she is a big Lori Linstruth fan, and complimenting me on the new Warbride snippets. She told me she has a web site dedicated to women of metal, www.metalqueens.com. Imagine my surprise when I went to her site and there was the very photo of me that was on this blog a little while ago! (click on the ‘news’ link, and scroll down a bit) Whoa! Kinda cool. I’m thinking, though, if I was going to be put on some site called Metal Queens, I probably should have teased up my hair a bit more and put on some more lipstick for that picture!!! It’s a bit weird to think some of those ‘metal fans’ out there may stumble upon this and be reading my day-to-day fodder on this thing…I mean, a person has her image to uphold. Dropping the kids off at school or making chili is not very metal. (well, I suppose chili could maybe be metal if I made it really spicey, or if I talked about really bad farts that occurred because of it…farts are pretty metal) Well, I guess I’m not quite at that national level to where I need to worry about my image anyway. But it sure is nice to be considered a Metal Queen. NICE! (that was for you, Lisa!) Now if only I could get everyone to bow down to me whenever I entered a room.

Here’s another photo of my boy, or I should say, my Homeboy. Check out that hand signal! Of course he had no clue what he was doing, I don’t even remember him doing that when the photo was taken–but I think it’s so hilarious how he totally looks like he’s going to break into a rap! This photo was taken at Brookside, a resort up in northern Minnesota that we stayed at last summer. In fact, my history with Brookside is a really cool story….

When I was young, my best friend Gabi used to go to this Brookside resort every summer with her family. For a few of those summers, she invited me to go with them. I remember it was a long drive from Iowa City, her dad blasting opera in the car and singing along at the top of his lungs. (we cringed and decided we’d have to wait until we got there to listen to some REAL music….Shaun Cassidy!) We were so happy to finally get there–it was such an amazing place! I remember how we’d help bring things into the cabin, which was basically right on the lake surrounded by other cabins, and then we were gone. All week we had the freedom to run around and do whatever we wanted to do–which was often nothing! When we did want to do something, we could swim or tube in the lake, or take any of the vessels they had available out into the water, play putt putt golf, tennis, golf, swim in the indoor/outdoor pool, play in the arcade, play games and eat ice cream in the lodge. It was heaven. And of course there were always plenty of boys there–either the ones staying at the resort, or the ones working there. Talk about heaven! Kind of like Dirty Dancing without the fancy restaurant and the dancing. I have such fond memories of that place, with Gabi.

So! Fast forward about 20 years, and I meet Cory. He’s from Park Rapids, a town up in northern Minnesota. On the first visit to his hometown, I casually mentioned that I wondered if maybe Brookside was somewhere around there–and Cory said that the resort was only about 12 miles from his house!!! It was so strange to think that there I was, dreaming about boys, and my future husband was right in the same town! Now of course, it sort of kills Cory to spend all of that money (and it ain’t cheap!) to be at Brookside for a week, when really we could just stay at his Mom’s house for free! But there’s no Bingo night at Connie’s, no lake outside your door, no sand…just not the same. (no offense to Connie, of course!) Somehow I talked Cory into spending a week there when Vivian was Sullivan’s age, 4. We had a wonderful time and of course it meant so much to me to be back.

Fast forward 5 more years, and we were back at Brookside again. This time it was extra special, because we shared a cabin with Gabi and her family! Talk about full-circle. There we are with our own children, doing the same things she and I used to do. And it’s just as amazing to be there now as it was when I was a child. Now even Cory brings it up more than I do, looking forward to meeting up with Gabi’s family again this summer and making it our yearly tradition. It makes me so happy to think of how it will be a part of my children’s memories, too, in even a stronger way.

There I go again, the picture of my little homeboy making me reminisce about fun times in warmer weather. I’ve gotta stop before I make myself crazy!!