Diary of a Metal Mommy

There we are with Tricia Dunn-Luoma, the 3 time medal-winning Olympian hockey player! How cool is that? Tricia graced us with her presence in the naughty pine last night for the latest Feminine Hijinx show!!! As usual there were many, many laughs. Today I was literally weeping into my Killer Chocolate Sauce (recipe of Stephanie’s that is truly KILLER–just click on provided the link and scroll down below the comments to get it for yourself!) that I was making as I was listening to it. Tricia is so much fun, and truly an inspiration. How could she not be great, agreeing to yuk it up with us minxes?!

Once again I am trying to recover today from our evening of debauchery. I had all the good intentions of going to the gym, but alas, I could not drag my lazy butt over there today. So instead I made something to put ON my lazy butt (the chocolate sauce, it will most definitely end up there) and will have to work twice as hard to remove it later. Ah well. All worth it, I must say.

Coo man, coo! I woke up this morning to an email informing me that Feminine Hijinx is now a ‘featured podcast’ on Digital Podcast! There is a little interview there for you to read and everything. This whole thing just blows me away, I love it!

Ahhhh, the sun. Dare I say maybe NOW it’s finally spring? I do see high 40’s and–gulp–50’s in the forecast. That is a very good thing. Between attending the Jesus Christ Superstar musical that Vivian is in–let’s face it, no matter where you’re at with that story, with betrayal, whipping, hanging and crucifying, it’s pretty depressing and intense!–and then watching “Empire of the Sun” with the Coreman the other night, this girl needed a little sunshine.

“Empire” is an incredible movie, but it’s one of those that I probably won’t be clamoring to see again any time soon. Kind of like “Schindler’s List”. That’s one of my all-time favorites, but when do you say to yourself, “I really feel like being thoroughly depressed this evening. I think I’ll watch a movie that will tear my heart out and make it so I wake up with extremely puffy eyes tomorrow morning.” Doesn’t happen often.

So! Bring on the sunshine! Bring on more Feminine Hijinx exposure! It’s all good!

Most days I sit around and feel badly about how I feel like our family rarely does anything. Oh, we are very blessed in many things and many ways, but I’m talking more about sheer laziness. We never go see shows, rarely go to art museums, things like that. So I was feeling pretty good yesterday, cuz we just happened to do both!!!

I was sitting here on yet another gloomy March day wondering what the heck I’d do with the kids on their day off from school. For whatever reason, the Minneapolis Institute of Arts popped into my head as a great place to go. Now, I realize that asking a 5 year old to appreciate art is a little ridiculous, but I figured any place other than THE HOUSE where he could run (or, walk) off some steam would be a good thing. And sneak a little bit of culture in at the same time. Plus it’s free. So what’s not to like?!

Vivian brought her notebook so she could take some sort of notes about the art. (cute!) I have no idea what she was writing, but I’m sure it made her feel important. What a great place, I had not been there in YEARS. I highly recommend it. There is just something about seeing a real Maxfield Parrish or VanGogh in person that is pretty amazing. Even if I was looking at them in warp speed. Sullivan did pause long enough at this painting to say, “Now, THAT’S a Sullivan thing!” Hilarious. Maybe there’s hope for him yet. No butt plugs at this museum (see earlier blog entry about prostate warmers at the Science Museum!), but there were some nice paintings of crucifixions and bloody severed heads for the Gross Factor. That always makes things more interesting.

Then last night was opening night for Jesus Christ Superstar, the musical Vivian is in at the church! What a great time. Now granted, it is painful Community Theater, and some people may not exactly consider that culture, but I have to say there is some serious talent involved in that show. You just have to overlook the small things like 11 year olds playing apostles, stuff like that. Vivian was shining, so obviously in her element. Kim, Brian and Emily came, complete with opening-night flowers for Vivian. So sweet!!!

So, a little culture for the Shuberts. Now I can go back to letting the kids watch Scooby Doo and not feel so guilty for a while.

I took Vivian shopping today to get a couple of tank tops. She let me know yesterday that she needed some for the play she’s in, of which the opening night is tomorrow. (Typical!) It wasn’t as difficult as I imagined it would be to find tank tops in March, but it was nigh impossible to find one that didn’t have some sort of sequined pattern or ridiculous bead work all over it. Not only are they the most God-awful tacky things that only Liberace or one of the Village People would love, we’re supposed to be able to wash these things? I can only imagine what the machine would look like after washing. Beads and sequins everywhere, and then the Coreman would end up with nice girlie sequins on his underwear. (or in them–ouch!)

But anyway, we were looking at some tanks and Vivian points to a peasant-type skirt–again, with more beads and sequins. Apparently the Eastern Indian/Hippie thing is really in. Succumbing to my little tween’s new-found love of fashion, I allowed her to pick out a skirt. Then we walked to the other side of the girlie area and she flipped her lid over the camouflage–that is the other ‘In’ thing, I am guessing from the amount of it that I saw. Camo?? That’s one of those things I could never get into. Brings to mind the whole Bambi thing. I’ve never even bought Sullivan anything in camouflage, even if it was pint-sized and really cute. Uh uh, no killing of innocent little animals here. I don’t care if some of the camo is pink, it’s camo. Or green with a ruffle and a bedazzling butterfly. Still brings images of carnage to me. All of a sudden it dawned on me today. I think this whole camo rage is a Bush Conspiracy. Why stop at trying to convince adults that this war is a good idea? Why not subliminally try to sway little pre-pubescent girls? I wouldn’t put anything past that guy.

Or maybe the people who make these fashion rules are just really running out of ideas. I don’t know. But a lot of the camo had beads and sequins on it, too. Where does it end, people?? I suppose kid’s clothes are supposed to make parents crazy, along with the kids in them.

I am the first to admit that I can be a real bitch. I sort of revel in that fact, as I was raised to be such a ‘nice girl’. Back in my rock and roll days in Los Angeles, I actually considred it a compliment if I overheard that someone thought I was a bitch. Part of the rock and roll persona, of course, and I wanted to take that puppy on. (of course as soon as they actually met me and saw my damn dimples, the gig was up) Despite myself, however, I still feel that ‘nice girl’ backlash twinge sometimes when I do something bitchy. Not today.

This morning I was doing my weekly grocery shop at Cub Foods. (alas, I’m not allowed to shop exclusively at Byerlys…maybe someday…a girl can dream!) I was in a fine mood–I am one of those rare people who actually loves to grocery shop, and Sullivan is good company–until I got to the check-out line. I was helping the cashier find a coupon item, when the woman behind me pushed my cart forward with a huff. Now, my cart was in her way, and I would not have been miffed at all if she had moved it with a smile, or at least said something to me about it. It was the way she did it that really irked me. Whatever. I payed and proceeded to push my obtrusive cart back to the end where you bag your groceries. Sullivan was standing by the cart like he’s been trained to do–such a good boy! There was PLENTY OF ROOM for Miss Huff to have her cart next to mine, but just to be a royal C, she had to move my cart about an inch. I think that’s the point that steam started coming out of my ears.

Again, there is Cart Etiquette, people. At the time when you are using a cart, it is Your Cart. It is Your Property. If a person wants Your Cart in another place, a person should nicely ask for it to be moved, or nicely ask if they can move it a bit–don’t you agree? Not only did it bug me that she moved it without even a glance in my direction, but Sullivan was hanging on to it and she didn’t even regard HIM. You can mess with me, but NOT with my boy! I was in a quandry. I mean, the one bad thing about having kids is that you can’t go off on people around them. Hmmm. One DOES want to be a good role model. I suppose any retaliation is not very ‘Christian’ of me…but then again, I am a Jewthran, so that’s a good enough excuse for me to feel like I can make an exception every so often. Somewhere in my fuming fog, it hit me. After I finished putting my bags into My Cart, I went around to the front of it to push it away–all the while ever so nonchalantly pushing C’s cart over a few inches with my hip. Ooooh, it was satisfying. Got my piece in, my son completely oblivious. I smiled all the way out, without looking back.

I know, I know, it’s a minor thing in Bitch-dom. But we suburban mommies take what we can get.