Diary of a Metal Mommy

What in the world is up with everybody puking on cruise ships these days?? I don’t get it–only in recent years have I ever heard about anything like that happening. Why now?? There is nothing that would turn me away from a luxury cruise faster than the thought of being surrounded by 700 people spewing out of both ends, with nowhere to run. That’s pretty much my nightmare. It ain’t no Love Boat, that’s for sure. I used to love that show. Anyone else out there old enough to remember it??? I remember being especially excited when Scott Baio was on it, and I specifically remember one with Kristy McNichol…they may have even been on the same episode??!! I remember as a kid thinking it was so scandalous when some woman came out in a negligee and asked her new husband, “Do you like this?”, or something along that line, to which he replied something to the tune of, “yes, but I like it better off!” There was no mistaking what was always going on on the “Love Boat”. There was certainly no hurling on the Love Boat–if so, it was only because of a nasty hangover from too many umbrella drinks Isaac served up by the pool. And we never heard about it. Now practically every month or so you hear about the norovirus invading yet another luxury liner. Orlando Bloom himself could be on a cruise ship and you couldn’t pay me to get on it.

Check out this photo of the nauseating TomKat show. To me the happy couple is definitely overshadowed by the boob-like balloons hovering over their heads. Didn’t anyone realize how ridiculous that looks?? Isn’t anyone abreast of the situation??

This morning I took my dear friend Lisa out for my 40th birthday—oooops, I mean I took Lisa out for HER birthday, and it’s not her 40th. That girl’s got a way to go before she reaches the official Middle Ages. (I suppose she can still be my friend…!) I guess it just felt like yet another 40th birthday celebration for me, truth be told. We went to Yum Bakery for a nice Saturday morning breakfast, which is our fave meal of the day–at least my favorite to go out for. I’m not much of a breakfast eater at home, just give me my coffee first thing in the morn…but a couple hours later there’s nothing better than to venture out and get a nice plate o’eggs, or a Belgian waffle. Yum indeed. I have to say this meal wasn’t as good as it’s been before…the omelet I ordered didn’t have as much flavor as I remember and honestly, some of it was a bit runny. Eeeeu, I can’t stand boogery eggs. But the free cupcake they were giving out for their one year anniversary made up for it.

Last night I had my jewelry at my friend Cyndy’s yearly holiday Mary Kay open house. She’s had me there for the past 3 years, and it’s always a good time. This time I was joined by another jeweler, Bridgett. I have met Bridgett before as she is a friend of Kim’s, but I really knew we ‘d get along well when she came in and the first thing she said to me was, “I really like your rack!” I burst out laughing because of course my dirty mind immediately thought of my chest, instead of the earring stand that she was really referring to. By the end of the night Bridgett and I had practically spent more on each other’s jewels than we made. In a couple of weeks Cyndy will have another open house and Bridgett and I will be at that one, too. Makeup and jewelry–talk about the ultimate girlie night! Woo!

You know, despite it’s bloat, gore, crampiness and general annoyance a period isn’t all bad. When you have your period you can justify buying a box of Entemann’s donut holes–excuse me, Glazed Popem’s–and eat them for your lunch. Look, the box is ripped from my opening frenzy. I never feel guilty about eating crap when I’m on my period. I figure it’s the least I can do for my poor body while it’s going through such agony. I guess it’s my way of looking at the situation not half-empty, but half-full…and after about half the box of these suckers, I’d say I’m getting full.

Oh, and I think I saw Paul Westerberg in Cub Foods today. Who knew as I was perusing turkeys I’d have a celebrity sighting? At least I’m pretty sure it was him…he looked as though he’s gotten blonde hi-lights. Does anyone out there know if this is indeed true? I know he lives pretty close to me, so it wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Although what does surprise me is you’d think an X-rock star would be shopping at Byerlys.

Tablescaping. Mantelscaping. Who knew there was such a thing? Apparently there is, as I learned first hand at this decorating seminar last night at Pier One Imports down the street. Cory’s friend Christopher let him know that his man Jason from Interiors By Decorating Den was giving this seminar and Cory offered me up to go. (what, Cory didn’t want to learn about the proper use of charger plates??) What, a night out at a fun store with a couple of fun guys?? Sha! Whereas I didn’t really learn anything new per se, I did manage to spend some money on a rockin’ retro-looking red tray, a much needed wine bottle coaster (ya hear that girls, no more drippy wine bottles as we podcast!) and some new dinner plates! Woo!

See this was the quandry. We have 5 complete table settings of our wedding china. Yes, I said wedding china. Even Metal Mommies have their fancy-shmancy sides. I love my china, but not enough to spend a butt-load of money on 3 more settings, which is what I need to have them really be useful. The best time for me to use them is when I’m hosing my gourmet dinner group of course, but alas, we add up to 8. My everyday Stangl is lovely, but certainly can not be mixed with china. I’m all for mixing patterns and styles, but something as casual as pottery does NOT go with fine china. I don’t need an interior designer to tell me that.

But! No longer a quandry–not only do I have 4 new gold dinner plates that I can beautifully alternate with my cream/gold china, but my ever-luvin’ husband told me to go BACK and get MORE!!! Whoa! We are definitely ready for some new tablescaping. Yeah! You have to love the rare opportunity you get when your man actually tells you to go out and spend money. Btw, I wonder if I could find a china pattern with skulls on it?